When we left off, the squirrels has spiked my beer, causing me to puke and dry heave, in turn giving me an umbillical hernia. After having it fixed, and not being able to go back to work, I was ready for retribution!
I got down to the farm early on a Friday afternoon and headed into the woods. This was mid August, so it was HOT! I rode the 4 wheeler up to the top of the hill in the woods and took off walking. I could hear a squirrel cutting, off down in a hollow, so I maneuvered around to where I could find it and get a shot. I finally found the squirrel and shot. That's 1 squirrel for the pot. As I was going to pick that one up, I saw another jump onto another limb. I found that one in the scope, putting the crosshairs on his little fuzzy head and let him have it. There's two for the pot! I picked up the first squirrel and went down to get the 2nd (which had fallen in the very bottom of the hollow. As I was going to get that one, I saw another, but couldn't get a shot at it.
So now, I'm in the very bottom of this hollow, trying to figure out just "how" I'm going to get out of there. The hills are dang near too steep to climb, and I really didn't want to walk down the hollow because that's going to take me out of the woods. I saw a little small tree that had fallen, angling down the hill. I thought, "If I can make it to that tree, I can walk on the high side of it, up the hill and out of here. I clawed my way up to the tree and went to put a foot on the log. Just as my foot touched the log and I put some weight on it, it slipped (lesson - always have boots with good tread!) and I fell sideways, toward the uphill side, catching myself with a hand. You know how it feels when someone hits you in the nose, with your nose tingling and your eyes watering? That's what if felt like. Then I could feel my nose start bleeding. I sat down on the log, hanging my head over to let the blood drip for a bit while I figured out what had happened. I carry a bandana with me to wipe sweat when it's hot. I got the bandana out and started to wipe the blood away. As I was wiping the blood away, I could feel something in the edge of my nose. I couldn't tell what it was, but I couldn't get ahold of it either with the blood making everything slick. I decided to walk back to the 4 wheeler and then go down to Bob's house (my step-dad) and see if he could get whatever it was out.
I started up the hill, having to stop every so often and rest, the whole time holding the bandana up to my nose to catch the blood. About 3/4 of the way up, I almost puked because I was so hot. As I was sitting there resting, I saw 2 squirrels down the hill from where I had just come. I started once to shoot them but then thought, "If I shoot them, then I have to go down the hill and then back up to where I'm now." I decided to give the squirrels a break and continued working my way up the hill. Once I was back to the 4 wheeler, I got on it and rode down the hill to Bob's house.
Just as I was getting to the cabin, my mother pulled up at the cabin. She saw me with the bandana up to my nose and asked if I had a nose bleed. "Not exactly....." I gave her a brief run down of what happened and then asked her if Bob was up at the house because I was going to have him pull whatever it was out. I tilted my head back a little for her to see what it was. She gave a shudder and said, "No, you're going to the hospital!" Lovely! I hate hospitals!!
My mother is not the best driver under normal conditions. You add a little "excitement" such as this, and I was hanging on for dear life, telling her to watch the road and slow down! We get to the hospital and eventually get checked in and in a room. The doctor finally comes in and asks why I'm there. "I've got a stick up my nose." To which the doctor replied, "And, how old are you?" LOL!!! He looks at it a little and then sends me for x-rays. After he looked at the x-rays, he came back in and said that the x-rays were negative, so he was just going to go up in there and get it. "Slow down there doc! What do you mean the x-rays were negative, and what do you mean you're just going to go up in there and get it?" He said that he ordered the x-rays to find out how far up in my sinuses the stick had gone and if there would be any danger by pulling it out. The only way to get it out was going to be to pull it out. So I laid back on the bed and put a towel over my eyes to shield them from that big bright light he had in my face. I couldn't see anything that he was doing, but could feel it, with it driving me nuts every time he even touched the stick. I found out from my mother that he had to leave the room and get a bigger pair of forcepts because the pair he had wasn't big enough to get a bite on the stick. When he finally got ahold of the stick and pulled it out, there was some SEVERE pain involved with it! I've got a pretty high pain tolerance, but that freaking HURT!!! After he got it out, he cleaned it up a little and gave it to me, along with a couple of perscriptions for pain medicine and an antibiotic. He also said that when I got back home to make an appointment with an Ear, Nose, and Throat (ENT) specialist to make sure there wasn't anything else up there and to assess the damage after some of the swelling had had a chance to go down.
All of this was on a Friday afternoon/evening. Saturday morning, I was back out hunting. I hunted Saturday morning and afternoon, and Sunday morning, going back home on Sunday afternoon. On Sunday morning I was finally able to blow my nose, blowing out pieces of bark when I did. Monday I made an appointment with the ENT for Wednesday. Once I got into see him, I gave him a run down on what had happened. He looked up in there and said that everything looked OK and it was healing well. Just to be on the safe side, he put a scope up my nose to see if there was anything else. "By George, there is something else up there." Great, just what I wanted to hear! He tried to get it out, but wasn't able to. "OK, we're going to have to schedule you for surgery to knock you out and go up in there and get it." "Well, here's the dilema doc. I'm off work right now because of a recent hernia surgery. I'm scheduled to go back to work next Monday. Is there any way that you can schedule this for this week some time?" He goes to check and comes back to tell me that he's got me scheduled for 6:00 AM the next morning.
So now I've got another issue. My wife was out of town. I could drive myself to the hospital for the surgery, but I had to have someone come and pick me up afterwards. They wouldn't let you check yourself out and drive home. I called my wife and we finally found someone who could come and sign me out after everything was said and done.
6:00 AM the next morning (Thursday), I'm sitting in the hospital getting ready to be knocked out yet again for yet another surgery. The doctor goes in and gets the piece that was up in there and gives it to me to add to my "collection". On a follow up visit to the doctor a few days later, I told him that my nose was really sore up in there. "Yeah, I figured that it would be. I went in there and got the piece and started pulling it out, but it got hung and I couldn't get it out. I had to let it go to get a better grip on it. When I did, it fell further back in there, and I really had to go digging then to get it out." Just my luck. No wonder I was so sore!
So all totaled, the first piece of stick that was pulled out was 1 and 1/8" long, with the end that was furthest up in my nose being 3/8" wide (it was the bud end of a small limb). The second piece was only about 1/2" long and was just straight without bulging on the end. Because of "the squirrels", I literally puked my guts out, got a hernia, had to have surgery for that, got a stick lodged up my nose, had to make a trip to the emergency room, and ultimately yet another surgery. Thus the reasoning for my extreme HATRED for squirrels!
Since "The Stick Incident", whenever I'm in the woods I wear safety glasses and boots with good tread on the bottoms. When I fell, that stick could had just as easily gone in my eye instead of my nose. It was a 1 in a million shot. There's probably no way that it could ever happen again like that. All I know is that the .17 HMR will take a squirrel's head clean off, which is very satisfying when I go to pick them up.......... Especially considering everything that I've been through in regards to squirrel hunting.
Big58cal